I have not had the capacity to blog. I have not had the capacity to make dinner until the past few weeks. This pregnancy is kicking my tail. I don't know if it's because I'm getting....ahem....OLDER....or if it's because my body is sick and tired of being pregnant, or if it's because that's just the way my pregnancies roll. This one has been almost identical to Lucy and Stella's pregnancies, but I didn't have three little ones to take care of then so I'm thinking that's a major contributing factor too.
Whining aside....we had a great Spring. I didn't get to document it much....and really didn't get to participate in it a whole lot. But I was present, albeit on the couch or in my bed or laying over the toilet....but I was present. I feel so guilty sometimes because I haven't been able to do as much as I have in the past but I know it's just a phase and I hope the kids will remember the good times and not the bad.
I think I said I was going to stop whining.
Stella grew up this Spring. Out of nowhere she is a little toddler. Running and playing and "talking". She and Annie have become big buds while Lucy is in school and I just love watching them together. There is more sweetness and less fighting between the two of them these days, which is a full blown miracle if you ask me.
I got a video the other day of them playing in the trampoline for literally an hour. Jumping and laughing and wrestling each other. They didn't come out of the trampoline until I told them we needed to go inside.
We also had a lot of rain this spring. Spring rains are the best....the ones with no storms, just warm, spring showers. We took a walk in one of these showers, because some of my fondest memories are playing barefoot in the rain.
We played outside in good weather too. Side walk chalk, bubbles, bouncy balls, and all the things that make Spring great. Minus the bees and the pollen. None of that around here....no none at all. Not in the pictures anyway.
Annie got sweet and girly....
Stella got clingy and demanding...
I did an AWESOME Lent study on shereadstruth.com. It's an amazing website and I am loving their devotions every morning. They lean heavily on scripture instead of someone's writing, which I love, and the Lent study was really really really amazing.
I have been struggling lately with my plans vs. His plans vs. dream plans and this particular study reminded me, humbly, that my Savior did not worry about his own plans. He followed His Father's plans. And I'm so glad He did.
We had a Spring photo shoot because I have been horrible about taking pictures lately. Either I forget the camera or hand the camera to Mark (= king of blurry) or I take a picture on my phone which ends up being mediocre at best. I thought these turned out pretty good for a last minute dinner is in the oven and we have to leave for small group but I'm taking a picture of you kids anyway photo shoot.
Stella is bipolar lately. She is either the meanest thing in the world or the sweetest. And really your chances are about 50/50 on what she's going to be in any particular moment.
I had a great Mother's Day this year...the girls all piled in my bed that morning and gave me a few presents, some handmade cards, and lots of love.
I was super emotional this Mother's Day. I'm not sure why....I guess pregnancy has something to do with it. But it seems like I cried all day long. Good tears....overwhelmed and happy and blessed tears.
Our church services were canceled last minute so we re-routed and went to church in Newnan with my mom and then went out to eat afterwards.
I'm so thankful I got to spend some time with my mom this Mother's Day. She is such an amazing mom and everything I strive to be with my girls....selfless, fun, giving, full of grace, and always always supportive. Even to this day. I hope one day to have this kind of relationship with my girls. She is one of my best friends and I know a huge part of who I am is shaped by her.
My heart and arms are full this Mother's Day, and I am so humbled and in awe of how blessed I am. I think that's why I cried so much. I grieve for the mothers whose arms are empty and rejoice over the ones whose arms are full. Especially on the days that they feel too full.
"She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
She watches over the affairs of her household,
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her.
Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all.
Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Honor her for all that her hands have done,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gates"
- Proverbs 31: 25-31
This is what I strive for daily. And every single day, I fail miserably. And I will continue to fail, and pray that my shortcomings are covered in grace and my children rise and call me blessed.
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