Thursday, January 7, 2016

One Word for 2016

As most of you know, I'm not one to make resolutions. I don't like setting myself up for failure. Also I think it's cliche and I like to believe I'm too cool to jump on that bandwagon. But really it's just laziness and my pride that hold me back. 

So instead of a list of all the things I want to do and be this year (although I certainly have some goals in mind) I've been focusing on a word. A word that can sum up my actions and goals and allow me to hone in on what must be done vs. what can wait for another season. So get word for 2016 is:


Obviously, physical healing from everything my body has been through. I'm still very fatigued from the chemo and radiation, but I also had a very major surgery and am having another one in the next month or so, and it's important for me to focus on what my body is telling me. If I'm tired, then I need to rest. Which means I'll have to let some other things go. But if my focus is on healing, then I can be confident that resting is more important than whatever is on my to do list. Also, that means I need to take care of my body, exercise and eat well. I'm not going to be legalistic about it, but I am going to make an effort to give my body all the things it needs to function at its best.

We are all pretty scarred emotionally from this past year. Our family needs healing. The girls need special one on one time with me to make up for all the time we lost. Mark and I need to prioritize dates so our relationship can heal. (Not that it's broken, but what we went through can leave some pretty serious scars). Healing together as a family will be a big priority for me this year, and doing whatever it takes to make us feel whole and healthy and together are things that will take center stage. 

I love my little family so much.

I also have some healing to do spiritually and individually. With my own thoughts, but also with the conversations that happen with my Heavenly Father. The mending that needs to be done cannot be done by me. But I feel I also have the responsibility to take my thoughts captive, to spend time reading truth, to memorize and repeat scripture, and to continue to pour my heart out to Jesus on a daily basis. That's all on me. Thankfully, Jesus fills in the gaps and can mend what has been broken as only He can do. 

"You turned my wailing into dancing; you removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy"
Psalm 30:11

Picking one word for 2016 allows me to target what is important and drown out the noise of what is not. In other seasons, healing will not be a priority for me, but I feel like the Lord has spoken this word to me for this year and I'm clinging to it. I'm recognizing the season that I'm in, and instead of wishing for the next season and wanting more and waiting for the future, I'm going to accept where I am now, enjoy it, embrace it, and give thanks for it.

In order for me to really focus on Healing, there is a word I need to reject this year. This word will not allow me to heal, and therefore will have no place in my life in 2016:


I will trust. I will heal. I will not fear.

And that's all the talk that word deserves.

The understatement of the century would be to call 2015 a difficult year. I could focus on all the things I lost in 2015, but that would just bring hurt instead of healing. Honestly, this year was a blur. I was barely coming out of the new baby/four kids/life is crazy fog when I was diagnosed. And then my whole day to day life became about cancer. When I look back, this will always be the "cancer year". Because there isn't really another way to describe it. But what I experienced this year is so much more than that. There were so many blessings and so much good out of this trial. But it's a relief to have 2015 over. I'm so ready to move on and put this behind me. I don't want it to define me. I want to be about more than just cancer. I want this to be a hurdle I had to overcome, not the definition of who I am.

I'm ready for you 2016. Bring on the healing. Cast out all fear.

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