Monday, May 9, 2011

Mother's Day

Mother's Day has been difficult for me ever since we lost our first baby. Fortunately I never experienced loss before having a living child, and I cannot imagine those mothers who have lost babies and aren't acknowledged at all on Mother's Day just because they don't have a living child. It breaks my heart to think about those babies, but it also reminds me how blessed I am to have two beautiful, healthy girls.

Last night was crazy. Evenings are always difficult with kids, especially when you are alone. Mark was working, both girls were having multiple meltdowns, and I was trying really hard not to have one of my own. I remember reading a blog post about a year ago, about a woman who was right in the middle of morning sickness and was complaining about it when a friend who didn't have children because of infertility came over to help her with her other children. She realized in that moment, that her friend would have killed to have morning sickness, and to have screaming children running around, and to have chaos in her house. She decided to embrace the morning sickness and the choas. That's how I felt last night. SO blessed to have crying children in my home, SO blessed to have two babies who want to be held and loved, SO blessed to be pulled in multiple directions because my children need me.

Love the lyrics of this song:

You give and take away for my good
For who am I to say what I need?
For You alone see the hidden parts of me
that need to be stripped away.

And as you begin to refine
I’m learning to let go and rely
on One who walks with me
As hard as it may be,
You’re teaching me all the while to say:

Bless the Lord, O my soul
All that’s in me bless Your name
Forget not Your power un-told
not Your glory or Your fame
For You came to heal the broken
to redeem and make me whole
Bless the Lord, O my soul.

I said a special prayer yesterday for anyone who longs to be a Mother, and for anyone who is a Mother but whose babies are in Heaven. Happy Mother's Day to YOU.

1 comment:

Laura said...

How blessed we are to embrace the chaos, and to have the perspective to realize that's what we're doing. Hang in there!