Sunday, March 4, 2012

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:9

There was a period in my life, not long ago, when I thought God wasn't answering my prayers. I begged for something, pleading with Him, and received pain and heartache instead. I thought I knew what I needed more than He did.

I pursued my unmet longing more than I pursued my God.

Looking back on that time now, I see what God was doing. He was drawing me to himself, He was showing me that He is in control, that He knows better than I do. Most importantly, He was teaching me how to willingly give something over to Him. That is SO hard for me to do. I'm a control freak. I don't like to "give something over" to anyone. But I see now that there will be multiple times in my life when my first response shouldn't be to hang on and fight, but to give it up to Him. That first time was the hardest and the most humbling. It's not easy now, but I don't fight for as long and as hard as I used to. More quickly, I release the burden/fear/desire to Him and trust that He knows best.

There is freedom in the release.

Now, at a period in my life where there are no huge burdens or unmet longings, it's easy to see the truth and not be clouded by fear or doubt. That's why I write now, in clarity, because I know a time will come again when I will think that I know better. In fact, I think I know better pretty much on a daily basis. But the nearer I draw to the Lord, the farther I am drawn from my earthly desires. He planned it that way on purpose. He created us to only be fulfilled by Him.

What a merciful, loving God we serve!

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