To Santa Or Not To Santa

I am being bombarded with Santa.

He is everywhere. I think I've seen Santa at least 8 times recently....and we don't go see Santa. He just pops up wherever we are!

I don't mind Santa being around. I understand that's the only reason some people celebrate Christmas, and I'm tolerant of other people's religions. And if you try to tell me that Santa is not a religion, then I would like to tell you that you are a crazy person.

Don't even get me started on Elf on the Shelf. EVERYONE is doing it! Since when do we think it's ok to straight up lie to our kids and tell them that some creepy Elf is watching them to make sure they behave?? Apparently works and behavior are all that matter anymore to parents, and bribing their children to "be good" can only be done through mystical creatures, who, let's face it, look more like molesters than helpers.

I'm not the Grinch I promise. I grew up doing the whole Santa bit. And we haven't told our kids there isn't a Santa. They sing the Santa songs and they know who he is when they see a picture of see him on one of our outings. But in OUR family, Santa is not how we celebrate Christmas. We still give our kids presents and there are even unopened gifts sitting out Christmas morning and stockings are full. But we don't say that Santa brought them. We don't really say anything. I guess we are kind of passive aggressive about it.....I don't want Lucy to be the kid at school telling everyone that Santa isn't real, but I also don't want her to think that he actually DID come to our house.

Honestly, it's never bothered me before that we don't do Santa. But this year, Lucy has been asking a lot of questions, and I started to feel a little guilty that our kids don't have the whole Santa experience. I'm all for imagination and believing in fairy tales....that's what childhood is about. The girls love Disney Princesses and mermaids, and we don't tell them that they don't exist. We let them believe and pretend because those things are important to them.

I think the difference between those and Santa, at least to me, is that the princesses and mermaids and fairy tales aren't overshadowing the truth. It's something they play. It doesn't distract them from what's real.

Santa does. We have become so obsessed with Santa and presents and freaking Elf on the freaking Shelf that we are missing the greatest gift we could ever give our children, and the greatest gift that the world was given....the gift of Jesus.

God. Himself. Came down to this nasty, fallen, sin-filled earth as a BABY, so that He could live among us, love on us, die for us, and save us. That is the greatest miracle. How Santa can fit down the chimney doesn't seem like such a big accomplishment anymore.

Mark and I listened to this the other night and it was very convicting....





Obviously John Piper is on the "Not To Santa" side.

I'm not saying you should take a side. But this was such a reminder for me to teach my children what Christmas truly is. Not just Jesus's Birthday. But what His birthday means for us. It's everything. Without Christmas, there is no Easter. Without Easter, we are all condemned forever.

Do Santa if you want. But Do Jesus more.

But please, whatever you do, don't Do Elf on the Shelf.

He Makes Beautiful Things

I want this tattoo in a bad way. Unfortunately my husband is not on board with me permanently inking my body. He's so old school sometimes.


I've been in a rut. A spiritual rut. A parenting rut. A wife rut. A friendship rut. A blogging rut. Nothing life shattering or major. I haven't abandoned my purpose in life or given up on anything. I just find myself taking the easy way out too many times. I can't get motivated, and nothing is bringing me joy.

There are still boxes that need to be unpacked and pictures that need to be hung. I have countless home/crafting projects in my back pocket that I just can't seem to start because I don't have the capacity or the energy to finish them. I find myself sending the girls to their rooms because I can't take the whining/fighting one more minute and I don't know what else to do. Instead of investing in my husband and giving him the time and attention he deserves, we just veg out on the couch after the girls are in bed and watch tv or play on our ipads mindlessly.

There are lots of reasons and excuses for the rut. But none of them really matter.

What does matter, is that I know this rut will change me. I've had ruts in the past. BIG ones. Small ones. And after every single one of them I came out greater, stronger, and more full of joy and peace. I don't want to say that the Lord causes ruts or obstacles in our lives, because that would create a huge theological debate on whether He "allows" suffering or intentionally "gives" it or just stands back with his hands up because He isn't in control. I don't really believe any of those things....what I believe is kind of a mix of all of those....but what I think we can all agree on, is that He works all things together for our good.

He makes beautiful things out of the dust.

And I am so full of dust right now. Like the nasty, old dust that's been lying around too long and is now collecting new dust and things even grosser than dust.

Some of you know this about me, and some of you don't. But....I used to not be a very nice person. I'm still not that nice of a person. But compared to what I was, I'm all roses and sunshine now.

But my Heavenly Father has done a great work. He is changing me, refining me. Very slowly, He is making me into the person He wants me to be. Still with some grit, and some spunk, because He made that part of me too. But I'm definitely softer around the edges than I used to be. He began the refining process when I chose to follow Him and declared Him as my Savior and God. Then as a young teenager He nurtured me and pruned me through some difficult life changes. Then slowly He sifted me even further through my husband. Mark has softened me and loved me so well, that I couldn't help but change.

Then the Lord did to me what He does to those who are arrogant and think they have it all figured out and if everyone would just do what they told them to do then everything would be ok.....He blessed me with children. Not just any children. Three girls. Who are just as stubborn as their mama. He humbles me daily through parenting. I am much more compassionate and tolerant than I used to be. So when you see me snapping at one of my children or responding sharply, remember that I am a work in progress.....

I want to be beautiful for Him. And I know that I can't do it on my own. I used to think that I could. That I didn't need anyone or anything but myself. And that's why He has had to humble me so much. And I am SO grateful He loves me enough to work on me. Because I do need A LOT. I need people in my life (I never thought I would say that!!), I need friends who will lift me up and encourage me. I need my mom and dad. I need my family. I need my husband. I need my girls. Most of all, I need Jesus and I need His grace that He freely gives me every day.

This post began as a pity party. I was going to list all the reasons why I've been in a rut and whine about everything that hasn't been going as planned in my life. But even as I write He is cleansing me. Stripping me of myself and adding more of Him. Because He loves me.

All around

Hope is springing up from this old ground

Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new

You make me new, You are making me new

Gungor "Beautiful Things"

Easter

"He isn't here! He is risen from the dead, just as he said would happen. Come, see where his body was lying." Matthew 28:6

"But God released him from the horrors of death and raised him back to life, for death could not keep him in its grip." Acts 2:24 

"And since we died with Christ, we know we will also live with him. We are sure of this because Christ was raised from the dead, and he will never die again. Death no longer has any power over him. When he died, he died once to break the power of sin. But now that he lives, he lives for the glory of God." Romans 6:8-10

"...Christ's love controls us. Since we believe that Christ died for all, we also believe that we have all died to our old life. He died for everyone so that those who receive his new life will no longer live for themselves. Instead, they will live for Christ, who died and was raised for them...This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!" 2 Corinthians 5:14-15,17

Sacrifice

After that cheesy photo shoot you know I have to write something to keep it real. I've had a difficult week with parenting and sickness and just plain yuckiness. This weather hasn't helped. Frankly, I've been selfish, and I've had a bad attitude. I haven't wanted to die to myself. I've wanted to live for myself and serve myself. 

Lucy and I were praying one afternoon for more joyful hearts (she shares the bad attitude gene with me) and I realized what a horrible influence I can be sometimes. I hope I don't royally screw my kids up. 

I came across this great post from the Desiring God blog. It's a humbling reminder that we are to die daily to ourselves as Christians and as mothers. For me, the little daily sacrifices can be a lot harder than the big ones. The big ones kind of come naturally. It's part of the choice of parenthood.

We sacrifice financially so that I can stay home during the week with the girls. I sacrifice time and activity so my kids can nap at home everyday and be well rested. I've sacrificed my body for pregnancies.

But the little sacrifices? The daily ones?

When I don't want to clean the kitchen again, when I don't want to pour another sippy cup of juice. When I don't want to change another diaper.

When I just want to Take. A. Nap.

When I get frustrated because I can't even take a shower without at least one child barging in on me and demanding something.

That's when I see my sin. My ugliness. And I realize I can't die daily to myself alone. I need His help and His grace, daily. Moment by moment.

"If you cling to your life, you will lose it; but if you give up your life for me, you will find it."

- Matthew 10:39, NLT 

My Temptation

Last night, Mark and I laid in bed talking and mourning over the shooting in Connecticut. My eyes filled with tears, as I realized the risk we are placing on our three children by bringing them into this broken world. Elementary schools, malls, movie theaters.....all places of death now.

I said, in a moment of weakness, "Did we make a mistake by having kids, and then exposing them to the sin and the hurt of this world?" My sweet husband, with his always positive attitude and God given wisdom reminded me, that is exactly the reason we SHOULD bring children into this world. And we should have more, and we should lead them to Christ, so that we can take back this fallen world. So that our family, our children, can be a light in the darkness. Because this world is so dark.

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."

- John 16:33

My temptation, is to hide. To stick my kids in the closet, to shelter them, and to do everything in my power to make sure they are never hurt or scared. But that isn't life. And that isn't the life that Jesus calls us to. They will suffer, they will hurt, and they will be scared. And they will learn to cling to the only Savior who can overcome this world. As I have learned, it is in my greatest times of hurt and suffering that I have to lean on Jesus the most.

We have to take risks. We have to be in the world and not of it.

 Francis Chan says it better than I can....

Three...

THREE kids...feels like a lot.

Not just in the day in day out tasks, like wiping noses and making meals and reading stories and bathing...but the responsibility of raising three girls in the instruction and discipline of the Lord...feels like a lot.

Three mouths to feed and bodies to clothe. Three educations. Three proms. Three weddings!!!

Three hearts to nurture. Three souls to win to Christ.

For some reason the magnitude of this responsibility is just now hitting me. It's easy to get into "survival mode" with three little ones, but I want to do more than that. I don't want to just make it through the day. With a newborn, that's all I'm doing right now. At the end of the day, if everyone is dressed and fed and not crying (or at least not all three crying at once), I consider that a successful day. But in the very near future, my days will require much more than that. Three little ones is physically exhausting. Three older ones will be emotionally exhausting. This blessing of motherhood is no easy task.

I'm learning that motherhood is all about prayer. We can discipline, we can train, we can love...but in the end, it's the Lord who captures their hearts. I have no control over their hearts. And that's hard for me to accept, since I'm an extreme control freak. So I'm committing myself to prayer....

"But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit."

-Jeremiah 17:7-8

Laura Update

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Jeremiah 29:11

Laura and Inese are being hosted this summer by a family in North Georgia. I have spoken with the family several times over the phone, had countless emails regarding Laura, and pretty much convinced her that she MUST host these girls this summer! They are a wonderful family, and although Inese had a very difficult time at first, they are both doing great now.

Families all over the nation host with Project 143, so we were so grateful that Laura ended up with someone in Georgia so we could go see her! She has grown so much and just looked beautiful. We had a great visit with her, Lucy and Laura ran off immediately and started playing as if they were best buds. Inese was very attached to her host mom but very sweet and gave me a big hug before we left (which was huge....because she doesn't usually do that...) Laura was, of course, sweet and affectionate too.

We have been praying earnestly for these girls ever since we had to put Laura back on that plane. I knew the Lord wasn't calling us to adopt them, but I also knew our role wasn't finished and that He had a future and a hope for them beyond what an orphanage in Latvia could offer. We had several families interested in them while they were here, and the family hosting them now has had several families interested as well.

I am so thrilled, humbled, and thankful to say that a family in Florida has started the adoption process to adopt Laura and Inese!! Adoption is a huge black pit of unknowns, as we have learned with the little exposure to it we have had, so of course nothing is certain, but this family is committed 100% to these girls, and if all goes as planned then they should begin their first trip to Latvia in November! As hosting rules require, the girls don't know they are being adopted yet, and I'm not sure when they will know. Please pray for this entire process, that it goes smoothly, that the girls transition well, and that this family's needs will be met.

If you want to help financially towards their adoption please let me know. We will be trying to raise money to help out the family and I will probably be doing at least one fundraiser at some point.

Thank you for everyone's support when we hosted Laura. We are so thankful we were able to be a small part in these girls' journey to find a family and pray that the Lord continues His faithfulness towards them and finishes the work He began.

Praise God!

Surprise!

You give and take away....my heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name.

The Lord has GIVEN......











Our precious baby girl is due in October! I continue to be humbled and thankful for the Lord's blessings and faithfulness to our family.

Project 143

Many of you read about our experience hosting Laura. She forever changed our lives and our hearts, and  I am so happy that she (and hopefully Inese too if she cooperates this time) is being hosted by a family in North Georgia this summer. I've talked to the mother of the family on the phone several times and am so excited for Laura and Inese for this opportunity to be hosted again.

But there are many children who still need to be hosted! Here is a video Project 143 made.....pass it along and encourage people to consider opening their homes and hearts to an orphan.

"As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."
Isaiah 55:9

There was a period in my life, not long ago, when I thought God wasn't answering my prayers. I begged for something, pleading with Him, and received pain and heartache instead. I thought I knew what I needed more than He did.

I pursued my unmet longing more than I pursued my God.

Looking back on that time now, I see what God was doing. He was drawing me to himself, He was showing me that He is in control, that He knows better than I do. Most importantly, He was teaching me how to willingly give something over to Him. That is SO hard for me to do. I'm a control freak. I don't like to "give something over" to anyone. But I see now that there will be multiple times in my life when my first response shouldn't be to hang on and fight, but to give it up to Him. That first time was the hardest and the most humbling. It's not easy now, but I don't fight for as long and as hard as I used to. More quickly, I release the burden/fear/desire to Him and trust that He knows best.

There is freedom in the release.

Now, at a period in my life where there are no huge burdens or unmet longings, it's easy to see the truth and not be clouded by fear or doubt. That's why I write now, in clarity, because I know a time will come again when I will think that I know better. In fact, I think I know better pretty much on a daily basis. But the nearer I draw to the Lord, the farther I am drawn from my earthly desires. He planned it that way on purpose. He created us to only be fulfilled by Him.

What a merciful, loving God we serve!

Small Group

Each week on Monday nights, I am blessed, encouraged, challenged, and chiseled. I am reminded of God's plan for our lives and understand more fully His plan for us to live in community. Our current small group is only the second one we have been in at Southside Church, and so far we have loved every minute. God is already doing amazing things in and through these fantastic couples. We love our group like family, and more often than not, our group knows things about us even our family doesn't. (sorry fam...but it's true!)

This Sunday, after a terrible week for me personally, we forced ourselves out of bed, drug (dragged?) two exhausted and sick kiddos out of their beds, and actually got to church ON TIME. We then had the honor of watching two amazing women in our group be baptized for the first time. I cried through the whole thing. But...I'm naturally a crier.

If you don't cry watching this video of it though, you're heartless. Just kidding. Sort of.

January 29, 2012 - 9:30 Service from Southside Church on Vimeo.

(you can fast forward bc the first bulk of it is our worship service...unless you wanna have a little personal worship on the comp, then watch it!)

So proud of your boldness and faith Kacy and Kim!

Struggling...but Thankful

Ugh....I'm in a rut. This week has been awful. I threw my back out and could hardly move for 2 days, and then both the girls woke up with fevers Wednesday morning and have been sick and fussy since then. As soon as we get over one thing, something else happens. I feel like Satan is attacking us every way he can.

So today, I'm deciding to be thankful instead of resentful. To be content instead of restless. To find joy in simple moments and pleasures....



Like Lucy being "too tired to play", and pulling out a book and a chair on her own to have some peaceful reading time outside.....






And a precious friend bringing us dinner tonight, including homemade bread that looked and smelled so tempting I couldn't stand waiting to eat it....





Even in the daily monotony, I can choose to be grateful for the blessings around me.

Waiting.....on what?

It's been hard for me to blog lately.....partly because I feel like nothing significant or out of the ordinary is happening in our lives, and partly because I feel.....restless.

Spiritually restless.

So often my spiritual life is connected to how things are going in our family, which is fine, I think. But now, for the first time in a LONG time, probably in the history of our marriage, we aren't wanting, waiting, or adjusting. There is nothing we NEED or are waiting for. There is no big change about to happen or that has previously happened. We are happy, content, thriving, and I should be praising God for these blessings. Instead I'm asking Him, Ok God, what next??

A good friend came over on Sunday and we were talking about how hard it is to go from a period of clearly being in God's will, to just....being. Not that we are out of God's will right now, but both of us had experiences very recently where we KNEW we were right smack in the middle of the will of God. For us, that was hosting Laura. I knew the Lord was calling us to her, and it was so clear that His voice was almost audible. So we did it. Now it's over, we're getting back into being a family of four, she's back in the orphanage, and there is no clear direction on where to go from here.

I know that God doesn't always speak so clearly. In fact, I can probably count on one hand the number of times that He has spoken to me, and without a SINGLE doubt in my mind, I have known what He was calling me to. So, is that what I'm waiting for? Another voice? Another calling?

I have already been called. To be HIS child. To this life of motherhood and homemaking. Sometimes the daily life feels insignificant. Sometimes I forget why I am here. But I am reminded that if I draw near to Him, HE will draw near to me. If I am daily seeking His will, His heart, then He will lead me. And when I have moments/days/weeks of weakness, of doubt and insecurity, I know that I am the one who has drifted, not My God.

He is the one waiting on me.

Conviction vs. Want.....or Need....or what you THINK you need!

I love when conviction is strong. When you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are SUPPOSED to do something because the Lord is calling you to it. For Mark, it was his job at Delta. For me, it's staying at home to raise our children. Those were very obvious convictions for us, and convictions that we have reaped great reward for obeying. My greatest fear isn't disobeying the Lord's calling, its not hearing His calling clearly....or even at all.

I have been dealing with something lately, and I'm trying to figure out if it's a conviction, or a want, or a need.....or something else completely. And I haven't really wanted to talk about it.

HOMESCHOOLING.

There, I said it. Insert judgment here.

I never thought I would consider homeschooling for even a millisecond. But I had no idea what our world/school systems/society would look like right now, and I had no idea what it would be like to be a mother, and to realize that not only are you responsible for this little person's life, but you are also responsible for their mind, heart, and soul. I had no idea how much I would want to control what is fed to that mind, heart, and soul. I'm not talking about sheltering. I want all of my children to be IN the world, and to be a light for Christ, because that's what we are called to be. In the world, not of it. But can she (Lucy) be in the world and be a light for Christ if, at her very young and impressionable age, she is being taught evolution, to not pray in school, and that science, math, and every other subject for that matter has NOTHING to do with our Awesome, Perfect, Creator? No, I don't believe so.

I'm not trying to push or judge anyone. If your kids are in public school, good for them. I'm sure you spent lots of time and prayer over whether that was the best decision for your family or not. In our time and prayer, we have decided that public school is not an option. Atleast for this year, and in the school district we are in.

For our family, at this time in our lives, our options are either Christian school or Homeschooling. Financially speaking, Christian school is not an option. So that leaves.....uh....homeschooling??

Is the Lord CALLING me and convicting me to home school? I don't think so. If we had all the money in the world, I would put our kids in the best Christian school money can buy, at least I think I would. But we don't. We have zero dollars. So.....am I homeschooling out of obligation? Well, yes, sort of. Or maybe the Lord is calling me to home school and He is using our financial status right now to "force" me into it because I'm probably the most stubborn person on the planet. Or maybe I'm supposed to just home school for a year or two until either conviction or money makes us change our decision. I'm all types of confused.

Let's recap.

1. We don't want our kids in public school yet.

2. We don't have enough money to put them in Christian School.

3. I might become a homeschooling mom??

Fortunately Lucy isn't even 3 yet (though the end of the month is quickly approaching!!!) so I have at least two more years to sort this thing out. In the meantime, I would really appreciate your prayer/wisdom/support as I tackle this thing the Lord is throwing at me. I plan on starting some type of structured schooling at home in the fall, just to test the waters. But again, even if we don't like those waters, it might be what the Lord is calling me to.

My Story of Miscarriage

I have felt compelled to post this for quite a while, but wasn't really sure how to do it. I mean this is about as personal as it gets, and to just post it publicly on my blog didn't really feel like the most tactful way to go about it....however....the outpouring of input and advice and support I have received from all of my other personal blog posts made me realize that I've already put myself out there, so why not give you guys the full story. Plus the Lord has really shown me lately that He gives and takes away for a reason, to bring Himself glory, and if I don't point to Him at the end of this then it's in vain. And how can I NOT point to Him?

So here they are...the stories of my miscarriages. They are pretty graphic and straight forward. I wrote all three of these posts at once knowing that one day I should share them. Feel free to read, feel free to skip over and ignore, I wouldn't blame you either way. I just want people to hear my story and see how the Lord has changed my life and changed my story. I know not everyone wants to talk about their miscarriages, and that's fine. This is just how I cope. Please feel free to contact me if you have experienced miscarriage and need someone to talk to.

The First One

The Second Time

My Spiritual Journey

My heart

I haven't been as vulnerable on this blog as I would like to be, but I'm going to be today. Our family has been greatly affected by loss this year and I think it would be an injustice not to share it. I heard this song at church this morning and I can't stop thinking about it.

God loves a lullaby

In a mother's tears in the dead of night

Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

God loves the drunkards cry,

The soldiers plea not to let him die

Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a Hallelujah.

The woman holding on for life,

The dying man giving up the fight

Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes

The tears of shame for what's been done,

The silence when the words won't come

Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

Better than a church bell ringing,

Better than a choir singing out,

We pour out our miseries

God just hears a melody

Beautiful the mess we are

The honest cries of breaking hearts

Are better than a Hallelujah.

God I pray that my cries of pain and disappointment and frustration are a beautiful melody, that the sound of the broken heart of your child somehow becomes a song that will bring you honor and glory. Use my honesty and my vulnerability for Your Kingdom, so that my suffering will not be in vain.

Spiritual Journey Through Miscarriage

My Spiritual Journey Through Miscarriage

My faith was shaken in a profound way, especially with the second loss. Everything I believed or thought I knew about my Heavenly Father meant nothing to me anymore. What I experienced with Him didn’t match up to what I knew about Him in my head. 

I felt angry, confused, and abandoned. Utterly abandoned.

 I was in the darkest place I’ve ever been spiritually. I had to dig and question and re-learn everything I had been taught. I share this because there shouldn’t be any guilt associated with doubting or dissecting your faith.

 There is a false message that if you question, your faith isn’t strong enough. I think faith that has been rattled and broken creates an unchangeable faith. 

I can forever look back on this time and say, my God delivered me, restored me, and showed Himself to me. 

I will never doubt that because I experienced it first hand. There are things that I believe now that I didn’t used to, and the opposite is also true. I know what I believe because the Lord changed my heart. And I am now more in tune to what He is telling me and doing in me than I ever have been before. Why? Because I know Him, personally. Better than that, I LOVE Him because I know Him.

The loss of my two babies changed my faith in a way I wish I could put into words. So much so, that I am convinced that was their purpose. The Lord used them to bring me back to Himself. Their purpose could only be fulfilled by dying in the womb, never meeting their earthly mother. I don’t know if I would ever have the faith that I do now if it wasn’t for those two babies. At times I feel guilty that I am so stubborn that it took two miscarriages for my eyes to be opened fully. But that’s what’s so freeing about a life in Christ, there is no guilt, no shame. 

He has redeemed. Fear and guilt come only from the enemy, and I am quick to extinguish them both when I feel them well up inside. Because as anyone who has experienced a miscarriage knows, fear and guilt can consume.

So here I am on the other side, one year from my first loss. I didn’t think it would take me this long to learn from the loss, and I definitely didn’t think I would experience more than one loss. But I did, and to my great surprise, I survived it. The Lord carried me through. It didn’t feel like He was always carrying me while I was going through it, but I know He was. He is good. ALL the time.

The Lord can redeem anything. A mistake, a death, a loss. He can and WILL redeem it. 

He has redeemed my two miscarriages and somehow turned it into good and was glorified through it all. I am so grateful for a Heavenly Father who knew me when I was in the womb, and knew my babies for the short time they were in mine. Now He holds them in Heaven until the day I can hold them. My heart hurts for the people who have experienced loss and don’t have the hope of Heaven. 

I hope my story will be used to further His Kindgom, and bring people to the Lord so that they can have the hope of Heaven too. Please contact me if you want to talk or need support. Sometimes just knowing someone has experienced this kind of hurt is comforting. To know that you are not alone.



If you missed my story, you can read about it here:

The First One

The Second Time