Wednesday, February 26, 2014

10 Reasons Why I Deleted My Facebook Account

Disclaimer: This is not an attempt to bash Facebook. I am just stating the reasons why I chose to end my love/hate relationship with all things Facebook. Don't be offended if you have a Facebook account and think that I am speaking directly to you. I am the only person I know who isn't on Facebook so clearly you are in the norm here. I am not speaking to you. I'm speaking to myself. If you love Facebook dearly and could not imagine your life without it, then maybe you shouldn't read this. Or maybe you should. 

About a year and a half ago, I decided to delete my Facebook account. I had been toying with the insane idea for a while, and with a new baby and plenty of things on my plate to keep me busy without wasting endless hours browsing through other people's lives, I thought, well now is as good a time as any. So I did it. Straight up. And something magical happened......I did not die and life continued on as if Facebook never existed. That's right. You can lead a perfectly normal, social life WITHOUT Facebook. But I'm not here to convince you why you should do it too. I'm here to tell you why I did.

Reason #1: The Comparison Trap. There is some sort of false sense of fabulousness that exists on Facebook. Everyone is the best husband ever. Everyone is a 5 star chef. Everyone has the best/cutest/smartest kids.  And closer to home for me.....everyone is Super Mom.



Except, not. 

I love my husband, but there are some days that I just wanna tell him to grab a pillow and sleep in the car. I love to cook. But some nights it's like when are you kids gonna be old enough to pick up the phone and order your own dang pizza. I love my kids. But some days I think if they were any cuter or smarter I would be tempted to sell them for the pizza money. 

Oh and p.s. I'm not Super Mom. 

We don't see the nitty gritty on Facebook. No one talks about how difficult and time consuming it is to be a parent, or a spouse, or a HUMAN BEING. No one talks about the sleepless nights and the financial discussions and the stress over whether we should be feeding our kids this or that. Everyone wants everyone else to believe that they have it all together (except for The Martyrs.....see reason #6).

I don't need to see that another mom took her kids to the zoo, to the museum, to get frozen yogurt, to art camp, and made a gourmet meal wearing jewelry and make up and high heels. ALL IN THE SAME DAY. I have enough reasons to feel bad about myself. I don't need to be comparing myself to other moms.  And maybe some people don't have this problem with Facebook. But I struggle with it. I see what other moms are doing and instead of being happy for them I feel guilty that I'm not doing those things. And you know what? I don't think that's right. I know I'm doing the best I can and my family and my Savior love me the way that I am. I don't need Facebook telling me otherwise.

Reason #2: The Vanity. Oh the vanity. People think very highly of themselves. And then the people think even more highly of themselves when other people who think highly of themselves like or comment on pictures of the people who think highly of themselves. And then those people, in order to keep the people who think highly of themselves liking and commenting on their pictures, like and comment on the pictures of the other people who think highly of themselves as some sort of electronic gesture of affirmation. It's a massive circle of death situation.

Don't even get me started on Selfies.

Reason #3: The False Sense of Friendship. Sense when do people REALLY have 973 friends? Because I can count my true friends on my two hands. And I only have 10 fingers. Yes, you may have gotten 120 likes on that cute picture you posted, but when you were throwing up and your kid had a fever and your baby was born and you moved into a new house, how many people brought you a meal? How many people asked if they could babysit so you could take a nap? How many people came over for a cup of coffee because they wanted to chat?

We see the "likes" and the friends and the comments, and we think, man I'm popular. I have a lot of friends. There is a false sense of friendship....that somehow if you like a picture or send someone a message that you are a good friend. But you're not. Friendships are about relationships....and we can't measure our friendship meter on how many likes we got or how many comments we posted today.

I tend to be a bit of a recluse anyway, and as I said, I have very few true friends. Not because I don't like people or because I can't make friends, but because having REAL, authentic friendships takes time and effort. If I had 864 people who knew they could call me to watch their kids at the last minute while they went to the doctor, I would be screwed. But there are only a handful of people who do that, and I know I can do the same to them. That's a friendship.

I know there are people who live far away and the only way you can see what they are up to is through their Facebook profile. And I'm not talking about those situations. In fact, it's one of the few things I miss about Facebook. There are definitely a few people that I would love to see what's going on with them, but I don't anymore. And you know what? Maybe it will cause me to pick up the phone and call them long-distance and have an actual conversation.

Reason #4: Those People Who Post 136 Pictures of Their 2 Year Old's Birthday Party. I feel like this one is it's own explanation.

Reason #5: The Time. For some reason when you get on Facebook, Time becomes this infinite black hole sucking you in until it's 6 pm and the husband is home and the kids are crying and there is no food on the table, or in the house. And did I shower today?? Why am I not super mom like this person on my newsfeed and I should be doing something more with my life and All The Bad Feelings!!!

Instead of sitting down and browsing through a newsfeed, I could be doing something constructive. This may just be the pure lazy bone in me but if there is any excuse to sit down on the couch instead of work, I'll find it. Facebook was becoming one of those excuses for me. If I really need to sit and rest, I'll do something more constructive while I'm sitting, like read a book, or shocker...actually rest and take a nap.

When I see/hear about everything people are posting and doing on Facebook, my first instinct is, how do they have time for that? They must be neglecting their children. Or their children are less demanding than mine are. Probably the latter.

Reason #6: The Martyrs. You know who I'm talking about. Those people who only post negative things. "I'm at the doctor again for the 3rd time this week", "My 6th boyfriend this year broke up with me and I'll never find love", "My neighbor has a better yard than me", "I'm having the worst day ever, please pray for me".

And you know the only reason they post those things are so someone will say, "WHY????? What's wrooooooooong??? No your'e so fabulous!" And solely for that reason alone I refuse to comment on posts like that. But I'll be darned if someone doesn't come along right behind me and feed their need for attention and praise and give them exactly what they wanted.

Those people right there are enough to get you off Facebook. Those people were the straw that broke my Facebook camel's back.

Reason #7: Because I Want To Be Self-Aware. Just like the false sense of friendship, there is also a false sense of identity, contentment, and accomplishment based on your Facebook status. Ok it sounds strange when I say it out loud, but if you think about it, you'll start to realize there is truth in it.

By updating your status, it's like you create this little mental check mark in your head of things you accomplished today. Cute pic of the kid, check. Funny anecdote for my non-parent friends, check. Brag on my husband on Facebook instead of to his face, check. We act is if being happy on Facebook is the same thing as being happy in real life.

Am I the only one who was guilty of this?

I love this quote from this article. "Stop asking the virtual world to solve dissatisfaction with the physical one."

I don't want to live a false life. I want to be fully aware of my strengths and my weaknesses because I'm actually living them and not VIEWING them in word form on a profile page. That day I posted a super cute picture of my kid in her outfit and her matching bow? I yelled and stressed because we were late getting ready and leaving to go somewhere. That day I didn't post a picture because we were all in our pjs and never brushed our teeth? I baked cookies with my girls and cuddled and read books to them and soaked up every moment.


See what I mean?

Life in pictures and posts is not life. It's a very small glimpse from the outside of what a life MIGHT be. We have no way of actually knowing if the things and pictures we see on Facebook are true representations of what actually happened in that moment. 

Unless that person is our real friend and they told us over coffee the next day.

Reason #8: I Like Some Privacy. Not everything should be blasted all over the internet. It's not safe. It's not necessary. It feeds into the Comparison Trap and the Vanity. Where you ate last night, what new activity you signed your kid up for, or all your errands for the day... these things should be kept private and known by the people who experienced those things with you.

Sometimes I can be private to a fault. I don't like to put my life on display. We pretty much keep to ourselves. I'm real, and I'm honest, and I'm not trying to hide anything, but I also don't feel like everyone needs to know everything I'm doing.

We have lost the art of privacy with this social media world. Also, are people stupid? I don't think your boss would appreciate that you went partying last night at a bar in Atlanta with this person and that person, took a drunk photo of yourself, and then called in "sick" the next morning. And I don't think your Grandma would appreciate the picture of that girl you're "in a relationship with" wearing a bikini while she washes your car. Just sayin.....you put your life on display when you post things like that. And if you are a Christ follower, you need to be even more aware of how people perceive your postings. I'm not saying you can sin as long as no one is watching....I'm saying what you may think is normal and ok, someone else may not, and you could cause someone to fall and stumble. Which is not ok.

Also, have you ever read Facebook's privacy policy? It's not stellar. They are allowed to use your information however they want. While this was one of the lesser reasons, it still bothered me and I realized I didn't want endless pictures of my kids floating around the interwebs being seen by who knows who. And did you know that if you have location services on, people can use satellite to pin point your exact location? So you take a picture of your cute baby in their crib, someone can use satellite to zoom into your street, your house, and then your child's bedroom. I'm not much for the paranoia, but that even creeped me out. So, at the very least, turn off location services.

Reason #9: I Have Been Hurt in the Past. This was not much of a contributing factor when it came to my deletion, but I feel like it needs to be said. There was a time when I was in a very dark place and struggling with very real things. When I went through my miscarriages, it seemed like everyone in the universe was posting ultrasound pictures and pregnancy announcements except for me. While it wasn't those people's fault that they were pregnant and I had just lost my baby, it was still hurtful. It fed the bitterness and anger. And I don't ever want to be a source of someone's bitterness and anger. 

Reason #10: You Can Still Play Candy Crush Without a Facebook Account. And Draw Something, And Words With Friends. It's true. I wouldn't lie to you about something like this. (although these games probably aren't even cool anymore but I don't know because I'm not on Facebook)

Not everyone who carries a Facebook account is guilty of these things. I know plenty of people who are on Facebook and handle their postings gracefully and tactfully. And there are others who just have the account so they can stalk. Whatever. To each his own. My husband has a Facebook account.....and we're still married. He agrees with everything I've written here and knows that I am not accusing him of any of the above. I'm merely stating what bothered me and pushed me over the edge.

I am not without fault here. I'm the most guilty party there is.

A few caveats:
 - I'm on Instagram. It's kind of like an alcoholic drinking non-alcoholic beer. It gives you a little taste but is much safer and much more low key. I'm very selective on who I allow to follow me on Instagram so there isn't this bombardment of likes or comments and there also isn't a need to please or impress anyone. Most of the people who follow me I talk to or see in person on a weekly basis.

- I felt this way for a long time before I finally deleted my account. First I just took the app off my phone so that I would literally have to log into my account on my computer in order to view it. Once I did that, I realized how little I got on Facebook and that I just didn't need it in my life anymore. 

- There are some negative aspects... I have lost touch with some people because of my decision. That was a choice I made and one I am ok with. I know that I could pick those relationships right back up if the opportunity arose. Also, I have noticed since I have been off that there are certain companies and websites you cannot access without a Facebook account. Nothing life altering, but sometimes annoying.

- I may not be off Facebook forever. Right now, I'm undecided. Actually, I've decided I'm staying off for an undecided amount of time. At this time in my life, I don't need it and I don't want it. 

- Just because I'm not on Facebook does not mean I am not guilty of the "let me check my phone for the 100th time today in case I am missing something vital" syndrome, because I TOTALLY am. But by taking Facebook off, it gives me one less opportunity to check my phone.

- I haven't been on Facebook in over a year so maybe it has changed and everything I just said is inaccurate. I apologize if this is so.

Now what do you do with this information?

1. Nothing. Read it, ponder it, and go on about your day. That's fine with me. I like to talk and I like to write. Thank you for taking the time to read my wordiness!

2. Something. Maybe some of this hit home to you and you want to do something about it. I have a friend who takes a social media fast for a week every year. I think this is brilliant. Maybe you should take a fast from Facebook. Or Twitter, or Pinterest, or whatever is causing you to be distracted from real life. A week, a month....

Maybe you won't take a fast, and maybe you won't delete your account. I hope though, that you will be more aware of what you post and say on Facebook. That you will strive to be fully present in your actual life, not your life on social media. 

50 comments:

Amy Coello said...

Love this. You are so right on. I am a speaker with a book out and need the social media. But feel this way forever. If I could delete it. I would in a second. Because it wouldn't make sense if I did. I decided to do something else. Since I use it for marketing I hired someone in the Philippines for 50.00 a month. This person posts my marketing stuff for me. I shut it off of my computer (that is my guilty place) started leaving my phone at home. Giving myself some times to view and respond. Just really taking inventory if my time. Boundaries. I really don't go to other people's pages. Learning to strengthen my self discipline. The next rule I will instill will be Facebook only on weekends.
I so appreciate your article. So very self aware. You are my hero.

Meagan Bagley said...

Hey I just deleted my account today (along with my boyfriend) and we chose to do it for many of the same reasons. Thanks for posting it's good to know we're not alone in this crazy mobile world.

AlliOop said...

My husband and I just deleted our accounts today. I was too addicted. All of the many reasons why you posted were most of mine and some have been added on after reading this!!!!! THANK YOU!

Blender Woman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I really like your article about facebook. I actually deleted mine before and didn't make a new one for about 3 years. It felt good to be away from the social media scene, but I made a new one because of school/my new relationship at that time. Facebook is cool but it can be a drama magnate. I do agree that the friend count can be unrealistic come on? 1,000 friends lol. So that being said about 4 months ago I deleted my facebook (post break up) and also instagram<-(tired of seeing so many seflies) and I feel GReat. Our generation is so dependent on the world wide wed/smart phone/#hastags and tweets. lol we should all appreciate whats around us not whats on our phones :)
thanks for the mind opening article.
:)

Shaun Collopy said...

I'm 15 and just recently deleted my account. Facebook was ruining my time management and I always chose it over study. I just thought to myself one night "Screw this, I'm deleting my Facebook" and I did it. To be honest, I'm glad I did it. I can actually study properly without having to check on Facebook again.

Anonymous said...

Kudos to you! I am 23 and too deleted my Facebook. Or..deactivated? You are spot on with just about everything (though I don't relate to the mom stuff, but I know a ton of people who do, and had a lot of moms in my feed to get the gist) and I couldn't agree more. My boyfriend was the one who did the plunge first, then I realized I only kept mine so I could "check" on him when we weren't together and THAT was NOT healthy. It's been much better without Facebook and the bragging & seeing negative posts. I am "Instagram only". No SnapChat, nothing. :)

What baffles MY mind is the fact that those who figured out I was MIA on Facebook (family, and "stalker "friends""), commented on my Instagram picture of the confirmed email from Facebook, just had their minds blown and literally couldn't understand why I did it. They thought something had to be wrong in my life or happened to make me delete it. Even AFTER my explanation that I couldn't stand the stupidity & Ads any more. This is life now.

Anonymous said...

Great post! I just deleted mine today. I didn't get on yesterday either, so it's been only 2 days, but I feel lighter. Strangely, I keep thinking of stuff I should post on FB. Something funny happened to me, and I immediately thought I HAD to post it...but wait, I can't. Now I am just living those special moments - many of them in private, with just me laughing at something funny or being blown away by something breathtaking. I feel like I am living a real life again, not a fake fb one.

Anonymous said...

I deleted my FB account one month ago because of ALL reasons you mentioned in your article. Thank you so much for posting this. I really appreciate it!

Anonymous said...

I permanently deleted my account two days ago, and I feel so much better that I did! Life is so much better without all the social media. I love your article because everything you said in it is the same exact way I had been feeling about Facebook for a year before finally letting go of it. Great post!

Anonymous said...

I've just deleted my account. It's quite literally a breath of fresh air. I'm still thinking of quick one liners and still thinking to myself that I'd like to share that moment with my 'friends'. However, I"m happier now that my little life moments and my family is able to be private and actually enjoyed. I too am still on Instagram :0)

Anonymous said...

Great article. Just deleted my FB account for all the reasons mentioned in your article. I think FB is making people to forget to be grateful and thankful for what they have --- and psychologically push people to be bitter and jealous of "fake" virtual (un) reality.

Anonymous said...

I totally could've written this post.

I deleted my account recently and there was full-blown panic amongst my (real!) friends who suddenly realised they'd never bothered to save my phone number. Irritating, but it strengthened my convictions about why Facebook was no longer for me. I'd felt for a long time that life was somehow passing me by - I couldn't enjoy myself at parties for fear of the dreaded drunk photos; I stopped feeling the need to physically engage with my friends, since I knew everything they'd been up to anyway; I couldn't stop the jealousy when everyone in the world seemed to be richer, cleverer, happier, more glamorous, or just plain better than me. Only by deleting my account did I notice my own achievements and take some credit for them, having always felt overshadowed by someone else's, more significant, news. "I graduated!" Yeah, so did everyone else. "I'm engaged!" Join the club, my dear. The lack of originality in my own life is depressing - and why? We all know we're not the first to do anything, but being bombarded with information 24/7 makes it all too easy to be our own harshest critics when it comes to our choices.

Since my account was closed, I've cared a lot less about what people think, in an entirely positive way. I'm nicer for it, and a lot more easy-going because I can see what really matters now. The one thing I miss is the convenience of getting a message to everyone at once - but honestly, that casual, easy, shallow approach to friendship is what I'm trying to avoid. I'm not trying to convince anyone to do what I did, but it really has been amazing for me. Viva!

Anonymous said...

HI Janna! Thank you for putting into words everything I feel towards Facebook and social media in general!

I deleted my Facebook account about a year and a half ago. Before officially deleting it, I tried everything to change how I felt.

I deleted my first account and made a new one that only had about 40 people on it. I posted significantly less pictures and updates. But people I didn't know very well anymore kept re-adding me. No conversation, or private message to say hi - just a passive friend request.

Then I tried reducing my Newsfeed to only show updates from 5 key friends, but I found myself just searching through my Friend list to lurk on others - ridiculous!

I had my friend change my password so I would have to take a break for months at a time, but soon after coming back to Facebook, it was like the break did nothing.

Finally I just deleted it altogether. The world was suddenly quiet and I instantly began to see the world around me in brighter colour.

I absolutely agree with EVERYTHING you posted. Thank you for putting together a coherent list that I so often feel I cannot accurately explain.

I really enjoyed reading this!

Gary said...

A wise man once said:"Free at last, Free at last, Thank God almighty we are free at last.'

Just deleted mine today. Got tired of all the inane and insane commentary. The posts about what they had for breakfast, lunch and dinner, on and on, ad nauseam.

I found myself wanting to know what life was like before FB came in and took over a good portion of it.

I can rage on about the friend I used to work with that I lost touch with and when I checked his page, found out that he had passed. Depressing and almost as depressing as reading about everyone my age or younger who just retired, when it seems that I have such a long way to go. Small on my part, but reading this sort of thing just depresses my mood further.

Seems like quite a few are "kicking the habit". If I can kick a 3 pack per day cigarette habit, FB doesn't stand a chance.

Anonymous said...

I deleted my account 2 years ago for many of the same reasons you posted although my primary motivation was my concern over privacy. I do not like that facebook stalks you around the internet and can use any of your info. however they deem fit. I am a bit of a paranoid when it comes to electonics and privacy, especially given our government's penchant for spying on it's citizens and everyone else in the world. I am not an idiot to think that deleting facebook will stop this from happening, as anyone using a computer on any site can be tracked, but I damn sure won't make it any easier for them by offering up my entire life for them via facebook which is basically the world's largest intel database. The beauty if it is that the govenment doesn't technically have to spy or actively collect any of that information. Facebook users have done it for them when they click to accept the terms and agreements. Where you live, work, your family members, where you like to vacation, what products you buy, what places you visit and even your personality and political viewpoints and socioeconomic status are all willingly compiled neatly and topped with a bow by you the user. Brilliant ain't it? This is to say nothing of the idiocy, superficiality, and sheer and utter fakeness of it all. I haven't missed one day of it since it's been out of my life.

Anonymous said...

I deleted my fb account in late July .It started with a pic of myself in a bikini that i posted.. I has lost almost 20 lbs... I was proud of myself. My husband wasnt too thrilled about it ....It started arguments that really when it came down to it . Werent Worth causing problems. I told him..ya know What ? Im just deleting my fb account.He didnt Ask me to...but i was also realizing How pointless fb was becoming.. and really Made me care about How many Likes a pic Got.. when there were no likes i was crestfallen. I am off the grid...no Social Media. Living my life unposted. :)

Anonymous said...

After deleting my Facebook page, I am so much happier and found more positive ways to keep myself occupied after doing so. I did question my decision at first but I decided to permanently live off Facebook. It was fun while it lasted. Thanks for the article.

Meaghan said...

I really love this post. You are so right about all your reasons. I have a few groups that I'm part of who only communicate through Facebook so I need to think on this one a little more. I have found that I totally am addicted to checking all the time, I have a false sense of friendships and I am obsessed with getting more likes for my blog posts. I really just want to quite it all and go live my life.

Anonymous said...

Amen! I just deleted my facebook and what a pain the ass it was. The option wasn't easily available and then it asked me a few times, "are you sure". Yes I am sure!
I deleted mine because it was taking up too much time, I was sick of The Martyrs, and I felt I was being crushed by it. Instead of living life, I would go on FB. I am ready to live life and break free. It is against the norm these days to go against social media, but I am done with it.

Anonymous said...

I deleted my facebook account because, I was tired of the changes . and peoples are so rude they don't even care about u. I just got tired of the games and people posing on fb.i wish people can email or call and text . I just hated facebook and facebook really dumb website ever. I been off of fb for 4 months now I will never go back.

Anonymous said...

I am glad to read your blog. I had 500+ friends on Facebook and I hardly ever spoke to any of them. Most of them wanted to see the lastest car I bought, lastest clothes, houses, etc. They were not truly my friends. Its funny when I posted a picture of my smack brand new car, that I started getting flooded with text messsages. Before that, none of those friends cared to even check on my husband or myself. I also deleted my facebook account because there are so many crazies out there, and Facebook does keep up with your location even if you turn it off. I feel so much better meeting new friends without social media. When we meet, I go ahead and let them know my stance on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. If they want to contact me, then it will be by cell only.

Anonymous said...

I decided to close my Facebook account for the some of the same reasons that you meant in your blog. I am a private person and only let certain people into my circle. It just got to be a bit too much and i am so glad that i came across your blog. I can now get back to my reading and concentrating on me.
Thanks

Anonymous said...

I deleted my FB yesterday. Many of the reasons you posted apply to me. I think people over post their every move. Some don't post at all and just troll other peoples pages. I have no family & my husband has a very large extended family. It was depressing for me to see all the photos of all the get togethers, kids parties we nor my chldren were never invited to. Instead of being sad and wasting my time moping I would rather be playing board games with my children No one's life is perfect & it annoys me to see people act as if it is. .

Anonymous said...

I deleted my Facebook account today. I had an emotional day yesterday and posted about it on Facebook. I then sat there and told myself, "Why did I just do that? I just became that Facebook person that blasts ridiculous rants and crazy emotional posts that I always rolls my eyes at."
People don't need to see that. My boyfriend started getting txts from people asking if we were alright with our relationship. I didn't write that post about us, but people always just too the wrong conclusion.

That's when I decided to delete my Facebook.
Facebook is so public and people that barely know you judge you by the posts, pictures, quotes, ETC. that you write. It was fun for 7 years, but after awhile it was almost like walking on egg shells.

I already feel good about doing it. I wasted too much time on it.

Frankly, it's no one's business what I'm doing with my life. If someone wants to know how I'm doing then we'll see if they call.

Trish said...

Social media is an ego feed indeed. Social media is great for use of sharing things which can help others but leave it to the ego to use it to feed it's own vanity. I hate social media and as your article stated I don't have a definite time of return. If I even decide to return. Facebook literally made me depressed because I continually compared myself to others. Good luck to those who feel they need that sort of validation. It all comes at a price: a sacrifice of sanity and self love.

Anonymous said...

I deleted my Facebook today and it feels great. I actually spent the last five days unliking, untagging, removing every comment and deleting private messages first, since it states that the info will be saved... somewhere. It was tedious, and may sound paranoid, but the joy of deleting everything I've ever done through my "Activity Log" made me feel as if I was in control once again.

My main motivation for deleting is that I am a new mother, and I have realized that there are just *too many* pictures of children on Facebook. This is something I don't expect to change, but I am suddenly passionate about my child making the choice for herself to have an online presence. It is my belief that one day, all of these babies and toddlers and elementary aged children will want their privacy back. I get the notion that some high schoolers already want this freedom as I read about apps where their identity remains anonymous. Back in my day (lol, I'm only in my mid-thirties), if someone wanted to see my baby pictures, they had to be awesome enough to meet my mother, sit down and check out some photo albums. I want this for my child, as best as I can provide anyway.

Congratulations to all of us who have seen the light and now have more time to enjoy this one life we have to live.

Anonymous said...

Hi there. I know I'm very late in seeing this post.....but can I ask you what the difference is between you updating your blog and being on Facebook? Because more than half the reasons you listed for getting off FB you're doing the exact same on your blog. Time? You have so many blogs you spend as much or more time doing such lost posts as you did on FB. And just to give one more example which is the most confusing to me....Security? My wife and I deleted our FBs to get off the grid and because we didn't want our or our children's faces out there connected to where we live and where they went to school....and yet you have posted through your blogs exactly what your children looks like....what city you live in and Where they attend school! I only spent about 30 seconds before I saw you posted your daughter and the fact that you live in peach tree city. And a basic Google of your names and the city brought you both up as well as lots of other info I won't post here.

As someone who does cyber security for a living.....I'm really just trying to understand how you don't see the irony between the two. Even when I was on FB I Never had my info shared on any details about my kids at all (and yes you can check that in privacy if you learn how). Anyway, not. Trying to bash you at all....just making you aware. There are privacy settings worth noting in your blogspot account too that they offer.

Janna said...

I only have one blog. And the blogs I have listed out to the side to read I don't read anymore because I don't have time. I will look into the google settings. But the privacy wasn't the main issue for me on FB. Just an additional issue that people should be aware of. I don't think any of the other reasons are the same was the blog. To each his own. I choose to be connected through my blog, others choose FB.

Unknown said...

I deleted mine weeks ago. It seems I have alot more time for important stuff

Anonymous said...

Excellent Article.....My GF and I deactivated our accounts months ago. I used to look at it constantly. Now that I'm not on FB, I don't know how I ever had the time to bother. So much drama on there that you don't think about. I had fewer friends on FB than anyone I knew. And I know in real life I actually have even fewer than that. My feeling is that anyone who matters, has my phone number already. This has proven to be true. I've had numerous calls and texts from some people saying "so and so wondered if you're OK. They haven't seen you on facebook". I want to say back to them "I have to wonder if THEY are OK if they're STILL ON facebook".

Anonymous said...

Amen!! I have been thinking of deleting mine for the same reasons for a while! I haven't bit the bullet yet, but It's good to hear someone who views it the same as me!:)

Anonymous said...

I deleted my facebook for many of the same reasons you have stated and don't miss it at all! I'm from the generation that talk face to face or on the phome and letters.
Thanks for your blog jenna.it helped me to know for sure I did this for me.

Jennifer Lyn said...

Just stumbled upon this great post! I have come to have a love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with Facebook for many of the same reasons you list above. Only reason I haven't actually deleted it is because it's the easiest way for me to stay up to date with the local businesses I love. If only all of them had instagram accounts (which I much rather) then I could finally do away with FB! Until that time comes, I type my favorites into the search area one by one to see what's going on and avoid my dreaded newsfeed-of-death like the plague.

Really enjoyed this read!

Jennifer Lyn said...

Just stumbled upon this great post! I have come to have a love/hate (mostly hate) relationship with Facebook for many of the same reasons you list above. Only reason I haven't actually deleted it is because it's the easiest way for me to stay up to date with the local businesses I love. If only all of them had instagram accounts (which I much rather) then I could finally do away with FB! Until that time comes, I type my favorites into the search area one by one to see what's going on and avoid my dreaded newsfeed-of-death like the plague.

Really enjoyed this read!

Anonymous said...

I deleted mine because of all of those except for the martyr one. I cannot help if I am that. I have feelings too you know? I am a real person too. You can either delete me or just unfollow me. i don't get why people bitch about other people like that. it's so annoying. You have choices in life. I cannot help it if I use fb to vent. I know, I know, I need a therapist, not fb. Oh well. Whatever. I hate looking at how happy people are when i am in my house all by myself. Makes me wonder if people really do care about you. So, yeah. I'm officially done with fb. :)

rossm21uk said...

Resisted it for years as i envisioned the issues you have had. Gave in in sept 15' deleted for your reasons feb 16'. Apart from the odd humerous meme , it really is the biggest load of crap. You get to see just how stupid people are and what infantile crap amuses the masses..you get to see attractive people pose and pout non stop and wonder how deluded they must be to have 5000 friends . You get bombarded with boring details, you get to see all your fake friends online but noone ever talks. Imo fb is fake and caters only for the easily amused and narcissists. People like me value real friendship which can only be proved and maintained by non fb contact. Why should you get a glimpse of my life if your only prepared to click a like button .

Anonymous said...

The week before Thanksgiving 2015 I deactivated my account. This morning I went in to delete my account permanently. I found out that I had NO desire to get back into it (except for a complete deletion), and I am so grateful for living life without it. It is unbelievable what can be accomplished in a day without the FB breaks. Life is so much more enjoyable. I wondered how many others made the decision to dump FB, so searched for "I deleted my FB account", whereupon, I found your insightful article, and many others. Best of luck to you and yours, and happy living!

Antoinette said...

I just deactivated my account and came across this as I searched for other folks who maybe felt the same as I do. You hit the nail on the head with all of this. I'm also getting a lot more done being off Facebook. I like living more intentionally. Cheers to you!

Anonymous said...

I would love to delete my FB Account. boy, do I ever agree with much of what you posted here. Especially with "I don't need another reason to feel bad about myself." That has been me in spades.
The only reason I got on FB in the first place was I then had two early teenage boys I had to keep track of. And now they are both in their early 20's, and hardly ever get on FB anymore, My older son deleted his account for awhile, but reactivated it when he was in college and after he graduated to keep up with friends.
The only reason I still keep on FB is to keep up with old childhood friends and cousins.

I've been hurt on FB too. I could go into a long rant about a lot of things, but let me suffice it to say I really am growing a stronger and stronger dislike for all social media.
I think we'd be much better off, as a society, without it.

Anonymous said...

I deleted my Facebook account, mainly because I got sick and tired of my friends CONSTANTLY updating their status or blogging about stupid stuff that I care nothing about.

Stuff like that doesn't interest me or I don't care about it. Other people might feel differently, but I'm not one of them.

Whenever I used Facebook, it was to check-in and see what's new.

Anonymous said...

Not only that, but I BARELY posted stuff on Facebook.

Every once in awhile, but not all the time.

It amazes me how much time and energy people waste blogging on Facebook 24/7.

I also hated it when Facebook informed me that I had notifications when I really didn't.

Anonymous said...

I THINK FB SHOULD HAVE STRICKER RULES.I DELETED MY ACCOUNT BECAUSE OF MY SON CURSIG ME OUT AND SAYING BAD THINGS ABOUT ME.I WENT ON SEPT. 24TH AND READ A POST HIS GIRLFRIEND PUT UP SAYING THEY GOT ENGAGED.I WROTE HER AND TOLD HER SHE SHOULD HAVE TOLD ME BEFORE PUTTING IT OUT THERE ON FACEBOOK.MY SON WENT ON LATER THAT NIGHT AND WROTE SOMETHING AWFUL AND USED WORDS I'M ASHAMED TO WRITE.HE'S 41 YEARS OLD --I'M 83 YEARS OLD THEY BOTH HAVE NO RESPECT.I WAS SO EMBRASSED I HAD TO DELETE MYSELF.I CALLED FB AND THEY TOLD ME PEOPLE CAN SAY AND CURSE AND DO WHATEVER THEY WANT

Anonymous said...

I logged off Facebook until November 9th. This election just brings out the worst in people. If anyone important needs to reach me they have my #.

Anonymous said...

I cannot delete my Facebook account entirely because it's needed for work purposes. There are two work-related groups I have to stay a part of. But I have resolved to not go on it except briefly, once a day, to check the content of those two groups. I will not look at anything else and I will not post anything. I feel a little bit of the jealousy that you speak of, that everyone's life seems so much more wonderful than mine, as their lives are presented on Facebook. But also, I think that FB creates problems between people. My sister-in-law unfriended me over an entirely civil comment I made about one of her posts, and this happened again with a friend. Comments which, if made in person, would have created no problem at all---but when they are on FB, they assume an unwarranted importance which people think necessitates a severance of a relationship. It's ridiculous. The other reason I am staying off FB is that it has caused me to dislike people. It is far too easy to dislike someone when you are only reading their words, or looking at their memes, and not personally interacting. I know that it's irrational to dislike people for this reason, and I want to be be free of it. Therefore, farewell FB.

Self improvement said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Self improvement said...

I am a changed black male thats lives a righteous lifestyle after spending a yr in jail for foolishness back in 09. I still live in the ghetto but don't partake in the fuckery/buffoonery nowadays which caused me to loose alot of respect and status from my peers on and off odd social media. 4 wks off of fb so far is like finding a needle in the haystack to my culture. You get no love or validation for positivity but negativity is glorified. They judge me as lame but this is how I judge them. Shallow, bitter, jaded, blind, naive, ignorant, low self-esteem, self -centered, narcissistic, judgemental ect ect.

Anonymous said...

I have a shit family life...bitch wife,two kids spoiled rotten. So I'm sick seeing people enjoying themselves and posting all the fun they have. My weekends have sucked for many years..jealous? I guess so but that's all I can do for right now....

Tracy said...

Hi Janna, I just googled leaving facebook and came across this post. Confirmation that I am heading in the right direction. Im so over this kind of "friendship"! Thanks for the kick in the butt to do this. Off to save photos, see who I actually want to keep in contact with, and renew a sense of proper friends with those who truly are friends.
God bless
Tracy

wordplay28 said...

Right on!! I did the samething and agree wholeheartedly with your statement as well as the poster stament.